Film Without A Place

No Way Home Three The Hard Way photo by Sam Lahoz design by vagabond
No Way Home Three The Hard Way photo by Sam Lahoz design by vagabond

“We chase misprinted lies
We face the path of time
And yet I fight
And yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to call home

My gift of self is raped
My privacy is raked
And yet I find
And yet I find
Repeating in my head
If I can’t be my own
I’d feel better dead
– Nutshell by Alice In Chains

It’s time to send my film out into the world (or not)… Time to send it out, to see what it can do for itself or someone else (or not)… It’s done what it’s going to do for me… i’m done with it… of that much i’m sure…

i make films because i have a question only making a film can answer… or not answer… It’s an excuse really to keep the fever down… When i was young i thought i had chosen filmmaking… When i tried to quit out of frustration, out of betrayal, out of disappointment, i found that i hadn’t chosen filmmaking it chose me… Could i survive without filmmaking…? Yes, i could survive, but it would be just that and who wants just that…?

No Way Home Red Rock Canyon photo by Sam Lahoz design by vagabond
No Way Home Red Rock Canyon photo by Sam Lahoz design by vagabond

My films are a reflection of who i am… They wander but with a fierce sense of purpose… They can be difficult because they seem accessible but require more than passive spectatorship… This latest short film No Way Home is even less accessible and requires an audience to engage with the ideas presented… A stripped down narrative with three characters searching for one another, finding each other and breaking apart again… That’s the narrative and it exists simply to provide a visual for abstract philosophical and spiritual concepts…

Shot on 16mm film with a Bolex, desaturated of color into gorgeous black and white images composed by my DP Jeff “AK” Akers, with voice overs written as poems and disguised as dialogue and an improvised and layered score headed up by Los Bros. Rodriguez, Arturo and Joseph on bass, guitars and drums, with contributions by Kevin on guitar and my brother Mark on upright bass, beautifully acted by Kelvin, Flea and Omar, it’s a film that wrestles with the spiritual idea that god is fractured among us… i suppose it’s not avant-garde enough for the art circles and too experimental for the Sundance, SXSW, Tribeca crowds… Like me, it’s a film large enough to call the world home, but no place within it to call its own… No Way Home… a film by vagabond, about restless ideas that have no place in a world it calls home…

No Way Home Sunset On The Road photo by Sam Lahoz design by vagabond
No Way Home Sunset On The Road photo by Sam Lahoz design by vagabond

So the unpoetic real life questions still stand… Send it to festivals…? Release it on the internet…? Keep it hidden on a hard drive…? All these questions that have nothing to do with filmmaking… All these questions that have everything to do with a “career” and nothing to do with making art… A career that they say will “help” to make more films… A claim that’s yet to be proven…

i’m torn in four directions… The idealist in me is done with No Way Home, the realist in me is trying to figure out how it can help with the next film project, the pessimist in me doubts it can and the optimist in me is already working the angles of another film… It’s a hard road to travel but no matter how far or how hard i try to get away it always seems to lead back to this crossroad where art and commerce meet… Where the art of making art meets the art of making a money… Some days i wish filmmaking would quit me…

[vimeo 19730486]



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